I've seen a light I can't explain

When you see that light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how far away it looks, keep it in sight and keep going. Imagine what its going to be like when you get out there.

Keep going. You know you can do it.

Torn

I feel like I am getting weaker.
But at the same time I feel OK.
And I feel so buried underneath everything.
I don't want to regret my decision, and everyday I start doubting myself that I have done the wrong thing. I don't know where my priorities lie.
I am fighting so hard, but it is fighting back. With every twinge it hits me and disarms me.
It will get to a point where I can't ignore it any longer.
But I just need to hold on until I am ready to get it with everything I have got.

I'm still so close but so far.

Sunny Days

Bath looks so beautiful in the sun. I love that I can look out my window and see such a beautiful city. I love it so much and will really miss it when I leave.
Today is a good day, the nurse has told me my abscess wound is looking good, I don't need to go back and see her about it unless I am worried. This is good as I have been seen at least twice a week since my operation.
I know my journey is far from over and in a couple of weeks I will be in hospital again. But you have to hold on to each tiny little bit of good to keep you going.
You have to keep holding on, because when you do feel that happiness you remember why you have to keep going :)
I hope everyone has a happy day, if not keep waiting and it will come!

Here is a picture of sunny Bath :)

Remove the coulds, Look at the bigger picture.

I have always loved Delta Goodrem, since she was in Neighbours and singing Born to Try. Everyone at school knew I was obsessed with Delta and I bought every single CD that she bought out, even buying a single twice if it meant getting an extra song.
I remember when I found out Delta was diagnosed with cancer, I was at school and I had read it on the internet during lunch time and I couldn't stop crying. How can such a horrible thing have happened to beautiful Delta?
Her second album didn't do as well here in the UK as her first, you can hear the difference between them. The first one is sweet innocent Delta playing pretty piano, the second is a lot darker and more dramatic. It is telling the story of her battles with cancer and in her own words 'A diary'.
I love the words to every song in that album. I feel like I understand every line.
No I don't have cancer, I can't say I know what it is like to go through chemotherapy and have long periods of time in hospital. But I know what it is like to live with chronic illness, to fear to think of the future, to only think one step at a time, to wonder 'Why me?', and to watch the world change before your eyes.
When I first bought her album Mistaken Identity I thought I understood what she was saying because I knew she was singing about her illness.
Now I understand because I feel it.       I feel it too.
Who would have thought when chance came calling that this would be my defining story?
I'm glad Delta sang about this, because I love rediscovering this album when I'm feeling down.
I think about Delta now compared to when she wrote this second album. She is still beautiful, lovely Delta. I hope she is happy, her third album which was a lot more care-free seemed to suggest she is. I believe she is now working on the fourth so I guess time will show what she has come up with. The picture below is one very recently released to announce a new single is coming!
So, Thank you Delta :) You keep on helping me through and telling me to be strong!

Ups and Downs

If I was actually the person in this picture, I would be getting a lot of exercise constantly going up and down these steps! I think I am spending most of my time on 'I want to do it'. About the highest I'm getting is 'I'll try to do it' But I keep getting stuck on 'I can't do it'. After so much time on that step, I go right down to the bottom, to put it off for another time.
Right now that top step looks so high up.
I feel rubbish that I have ended my day right at the bottom, and that guy at the top looks so happy.
I have to keep hoping that I get there, otherwise all this going up and down would have been a waste of time.

Tomorrow is another day...

But I could really do with the time I lost yesterday.

What does it say about your life when

The thought of trying a different medication fills you with excitement and hope?

I don't care because I'm enjoying feeling like this :)