Sunday, 7 August 2011

Looking For a Saviour Beneath These Dirty Sheets

There is something about clean sheets which is so pleasurable. The smell of the washing powder, the feel of the cotton on your skin. The feeling of being happy and comfortable just before you fall asleep. This is how I will feel tonight when I go to sleep. I'm very tired from a night out last night, so I will fall into a blissful, deep sleep and dream of far off places, distant lands and people that will never really be.

I try to live my life one day at a time, and not think too far into the future, as you never know what the next day will bring. But at the moment, I'm finding it hard not to think of the way my life will be in a couple of months time. It will be the opposite of how I'll feel tonight. I will be in bed a lot of the time because it will be uncomfortable for me to sit.

But bed isn't nice when you are in there all the time, when your too hot and the covers get loose, your too uncomfortable to move or to sort them out or even sleep, and your so tired that everything is so frustrating. I know what my life will be like. I will fall into the pattern which I so often feel when I'm not well:

Waiting for the days to pass, and the nights to end. Watching and waiting for time to go by.

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