Thursday, 21 November 2013

Long time no post!

Wow, I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted on here!
My reasons for not posting for so long? I guess because life has been moving on for me. I am on my second job since I last posted and that of course keeps me busier. I started Infliximab in March this year and have since had six treatments. I am generally doing well health wise and I suppose with less drama, it gives me less reason to vent my feelings onto here.

But I think it is still so important to post about the good times as well. To show that I really have reached the light at the end of the tunnel - I expect there will be many more tunnels to pass through in the future but I know and have accepted that is what life is like. 

But the title of my blog rings true even more now that I am in a good time. I know that I can appreciate it so much more not knowing when it could all turn around. Something I learned in my first remission five years ago.

I have been thinking about how much things have changed for me in the past year. I was unemployed, had no social life, was about to become very unwell and have surgery. But I have got through all that now. My health got better and that gave me strength to work hard at my job.

I don't really believe in fate, but I really believe that things will work out in the end. Sometimes it feels like you are going along the wrong path, but you don't know where it is going to come out at the end. When you don't get a job you really want, or you are feeling down for any reason, its hard to believe that something better is around the corner. But you just have to be patient, or look at things a little differently.

When something good comes of it, then stop and think. It wouldn't have happened without the bad times happening first.

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

I will follow her on her path

I wrote this on 4/12/12 but am only just putting it on here.

I feel like I am loosing the life I used to have. But I guess that is normal in a life stage like I am now. I started off hopeful when I graduated. I felt myself turning a corner, and although I didn't know what to expect, I was hoping to find a buzzing town, full of opportunities for me to take advantage of.

But instead I found fields, miles and miles of empty fields.
No - Its more like mountains. Huge mountains sticking up into the sky with sharp rocky cliff edges that I somehow have to climb, with deep dark caves.
And I'm trying! I'm climbing up them but I don't feel like I am getting any closer.
I can see that town beneath me, but I have to get past these mountains and I don't know how.

Is living with a chronic illness just going to be a life of mountains?

Thursday, 24 January 2013

More Hospital Visits

I thought I should do a post on here to update where I am.
I started working as a Christmas Temp at Ernest Jones the jewelers, at the end of November.
Just my luck that when I get a job I get ill!
I had started to get symptoms back and after about a week when I was getting worse instead of better, I knew that I would need steroids to get me back on track. Then I started passing a lot of blood, I had work the next day and I knew I just couldn't go. Before this I had been pushing myself through my shifts.
So in the end I decided to go to A&E. Mainly because I knew I needed steroids and that my GP wouldn't be able to give them to me. I wasn't sure what would happen if I went to A&E but thought it might be my best bet at getting some steroids! In the end they kept me in hospital and put me onto IV steroids. I started getting a little bit better every day but I was still in a lot of pain. I stayed in for five nights in the end. Once they try you on the oral steroids they have to monitor you for 24 hours to make sure you don't get worse. So I came out of hospital the day before xmas eve!
I still wasn't 100% but I was a lot better, I said to the doctor, I know my body, I will keep getting better with these steroids over the next few days.
So I continued to get better over the xmas period, I just took it easy.

Then on 3rd January I had an operation which we had planned. It was to try and sort out the abscess I had which kept reoccurring. So that was three weeks ago now, I am feeling a lot better, but still having to make sure I keep my wound clean etc.
We had to sort out the abscess because they want to start me on a different medication (Which I think I mentioned on here ages ago), it would be dangerous for me to start this medication if I had reoccurring infections. So now I'm basically waiting for them to say the surgery has been successful so I can start this different medication. Then I'm hoping that will put me in remission and I will be healthy for a long time! :)

With this illness you never know what its going to throw at you. I'm still on the steroids but the reductions are going well. Steroids are pretty amazing really. They work very well, I'm basically symptom free and have a lot more energy. (I'm even going to join the gym!?!) Unfortunately though it means my face has ballooned! Don't ya just love side effects!! 

Meanwhile, I'm looking for a job again! Lets hope I can turn things around a bit in 2013! :)