Almost two years ago now, I came out of my first long term relationship. By the end of it, I felt drained physically and emotionally from putting in so much effort. When I came out the other side, I had this new found freedom, and went through a little bit of a rebellious streak. And when that was over, I thought: That's it now, that's enough. I just needed time to my self.
I know it sounds a little cliche, but this was something that I have needed, and benefited from. When I came out of the relationship, I had been diagnosed with Crohn's disease almost two years. I hadn't given myself that much time to understand, to properly come to terms with everything that had happened to me. Its fair enough, I was just trying to get on with my life.
But with all this time to myself, I have learnt so much.
This is what I have learnt:
1. Life is tough. It throws things your way that you would never expect.
2. Time keeps going. Even if you want your world to stop, you have to keep going.
3. People care. People will help you if you ask them, you don't have to struggle alone.
4. I'm stronger than I thought. The more I get through, I enable myself to keep going.
Working towards a degree is hard work for anyone. Sometimes I just feel so tired I don't want to face anything. But I know what I am fighting for and I know what I want. If I let this beat me it will be the worst feeling of defeat.
So: 5. I can keep fighting and achieve anything I want. Because I have accepted there will be hurdles along the way.
And I won't let it beat me.