Having this illness has changed me.
Its only been four years but I can't remember what life was like before, so in some ways I can't even tell if it has, but I know it has, because it is different. I wonder if anyone else can see the change.
I remember myself young and silly and happy. Innocent and naive.
Unaware of the real impact of the harshness in the world.
Obviously if I had the choice I would wish all this away, it will never give me more happiness than pain and grief.
But I wouldn't chose to forget and go back.
Because that's what life is; figuring out who you are and finding a place for yourself somewhere in this world.
I don't want people to see me as weak because I have a disease. It might make me tired, but its not the same thing.