I always knew that having an operation would be likely some time in the future, even more so in the last year.
I imagined emergency surgery to be really dramatic, with ambulances and people rushing around and lots of pain and blood.
A week ago now I woke up from emergency surgery, but it wasn't like that at all.
I knew something wasn't right and I would have to go to the hospital, but I walked in to A&E and waited around most of the day before they could do anything because I had eaten.
It was odd because I wasn't that scared. I could only think about the present and that was what needed to be done. People pushed me around in beds and just did things to me and I had to let them.
They drained a perianal abscess and left an open wound so it heals from the inside out.
I spent a total of five days in hospital and after a week, it is healing well. It is still uncomfortable and I'm still tired but I'm starting to think about normal things again, and starting to do some bits of uni work.
I'm worried now that this is going to hold me back and I'm not going to be able to do as well as I wanted in my degree. But I'm going to try to keep fighting for it. I just need to give myself some time to recover and then I will be able to really push myself.
In a way this makes it easier for me to keep going. Now more than ever I don't want this to beat me.
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