Wednesday, 2 November 2011

I'll keep on spinning untill I find myself again

I don't even know how to start this post.

I am tired, I am weak. I suddenly have this feeling of the whole world spinning around me, and time is zooming past while I feel like I am only looking out of the window for two minuets. I have stopped while everything else keeps going.

My mind feels like a big fuzzy cloud that I can't clear. I can't clear it enough to think about what I have to do. I find myself watching a yellow leaf blowing on a tree, and I don't know what I have been thinking about. I watched a heron by a stream, and wondered what it would be like to be him, while people around me talk about things we have to do.

I am yet again reminded of how easily people forget I am different. I pretend to be like them, obviously it works. They don't see how many more things I have to think about. But right now I can't think about anything.
I think people think I am lazy, but they don't see how hard I am pushing against walls in order to get things done.

Sometimes, I just can't. And that's what people don't understand. The inability just to get something done.

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