Sunday, 4 March 2012

Six thoughts at once I can't focus on one

I was so happy at the thought of going back to Bath, to be able to just get on with things.
But now I'm back the stress of everything is already starting to kick in. I have only been sat down at my laptop for about the last hour to start doing some work.
The thing is, before I went into hospital everything was going to be hard. All of my friends are working really hard at the moment and have a lot of thing to be working on and to be getting done.
And because of that I feel like I can't complain about the amount that I have to do, I don't want to complain though, I know this is going to be hard work. I know we are all working hard that is the way things are. End of.
But the problem is, we are no longer all in the same boat.
Before I was in hospital I had deadlines I needed to work to and a rough plan of when I would work on different things.
Now everything is a muddle. I haven't been able to work on things properly and I feel so behind, I have already missed one deadline and have been completely ignoring other bits of work. I don't know how to get everything done and time just keeps running away from me faster and faster. My mind is still so tired and it is hard to focus.
And now I don't know how to talk to my friends about this without getting 'We all have a lot to do'.
I suppose everyone is just so focussed on themselves there isn't time to think about other peoples troubles.
So if that is the case I suppose I need to stop caring about how they think of me.
I need to just focus on me.
I need to just focus and get on with things.
I need to try and stay positive.

And I need to remember how much my friends have helped me get through the last couple of weeks. 

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